To Write a Blog

I'm beginning to realize exactly what it takes to write a blog:

1) You must have every other word linked to something cool, funny, random, and entertaining. Or your blog blows

2) You must have copious pictures of your awesome life to show off to everyone to show them how much cooler you are than them because you are documenting your life so much better than they

And you have to write about every picture you post: "OMG! My first KitchenAid! I'm in love!!"

"Aren't we the cutest little couple you ever did see??!! Awww!!"



"Yay for going to Mexico BEFORE the swine flu hit . . . we never saw any pigs though . . . "

"This is almost too scandalous to show!!"

"The colors are soooo pretty!!"



3) You have to be witty and entertaining. If your blog is just a journal entry, no one's going to like you.

IE: Political satire, personal satire, BYU satire:
"Dating at BYU is like an Olympic Sport. You have to juggle, jump through hoops and play the game very well.
But just what is this game?? Why the dating game at BYU has evolved much over the past 5 years, especially with the introduction of *dun dun dun!! (dramatic music): FACEBOOK.

No longer does the student need to use "stalker net", but they have the convenience of looking you up on Facebook, Myspace, blogger etc and find out all about you, your life, your family, your extended family, what you like to do on the weekend, pictures of you in elementary school and more.

Not only that, but they can condition themselves to be the perfect match for you by reading your interests, activities, favorite movies and music!! And through these magical "social networks", you no longer have to worry about face to face communication again!


And you have to write in short paragraphs with lots of space in between


Or else it looks like a journal entry again
And no one likes those.



And your blog will blow



4) You have to be conquering something: Photography, cooking, decorating your house, trying to get your blog made into a reality TV show

• OMG people listen up: I have found the bestest ever recipe for chocolate chip cookies! But let me tells you exactly how I came about it, it'll have you LOLing and sharing with all your friends! And then I'll be famous for having a super cute, funny blog! Like, yeah!

So I was in the kitchen one morning (I know, right?) . . .

. . . or else your blog blows


5) And finally, make sure your blog can cause a controversy.
Make sure that people can misread it and be offended.
And that a lot of people will comment, either saying you're a hilarious genius, or an awful person.
Because if no one comments on your blog. . .

You don't get famous
No one cares
It's too much like a journal
Your links aren't cool enough
You're not funny enough
And you suck at the whole blogging thing . . . .



And your blog blows